sometimes i wonder if it's part of my life's calling to find the best. the purest. the genuine. the high spirited. the good tasted, well mannered, good souled. the beautiful.
often time's when i'm in that, what is now rare, state of appreciation--appreciation that among the insanity and how far i seem to becoming, there is always this constant glow of where i can retreat where my soul is transfixed on the very things that heals it.
it's as if i'm saying that if ever everything--all of this--if it were all to be contained and personified into one object, or became one single being..it's almost as if i could say to this object or this person i am thankful that you exist. it's when i'm in this state that i wonder how i got so damn jaded. how did i become such a cynic about certain things? humor is a part of my personality, whatever element it might be in..but these visits to that glowing light of of inspiration have become sparse and more spread a part.
it just makes me wonder. and appreciate my solitude even more. the fact that i have this ability to sit, listen to the appropriates melodies, and retreat into my mind like so.
